Trigger
by Taeng
Summary: Trigger. The moment everything changes. I have no one left. They're all gone. I have to fix this even though doing so will mean that I am still a piece in their games. But there are people I have to protect. Takes place between the end of Catching Fire and the beginning of Mockingjay.


**This takes place between the end of Catching Fire and the beginning of Mockingjay.  
**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own The Hunger Games series or the characters. They belong to Suzanne Collins.

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**Trigger**

There's a pounding in my head, against my left temple, thundering painfully against my skull. I groan and lift a hand to press it against my forehead in an attempt to stem the pain. My other hand crawls across the hard, cold floor and my eyes shoot open, revealing the dull grey concrete floor I'm lying on. One hand still pressed against my head, I carefully push myself up into a sitting position and shiver. I am so cold and I use the hand that isn't clutching my head to hold the collar of my games outfit closer to my chest, not that it makes any difference. My body shakes violently. I am freezing cold, as if I've been plunged into ice cold water. I wearily shake my head and blink.

My vision is hazy and blurs momentarily as my eyes adjust to the limited light. In front of me is a dark grey stone wall. I turn my head to see two more identical walls; the third has a large wooden door with a small square window covered by metal bars. The only light in the room comes from that single gap. I lower my hand and feel my heart beat wildly against my chest as my body becomes consumed with panic as I try to remember. I remember the arena. I had been separated from Katniss… The thought of her makes my mind more alert. I look around for some sort of sign to tell me where I am, where she is. But there's nothing and my head pounds painfully from the movement. I take a breath and try to piece together what I can remember before the blinding light I had seen before I had lost consciousness. I had been running around a jungle-like area searching for her. I had seen Chaff. I had watched in horror as Brutus killed him. I remember the overwhelming anger that had surged through my body. I had killed Brutus. I look down at my hands and see that they are still stained with his blood. I rub them furiously against my torn, ruined outfit. But the stains don't move. The rubbing makes my hands turn even redder, but that doesn't stop me. I'm not a killer. But I killed him. I killed him in anger. I want to be rid of the evidence. I don't want to be reminded of what I had done. But the blood doesn't go and my hands turn raw, throbbing painfully and I stop, taking heavy breaths.

My throat is dry, making my tongue heavy in my mouth. My breath is hitched and my chest feels constricted. Where am I? My entire body ached from the movements I'm making. What had happened whilst I was unconscious? Where is Katniss?

I push myself to my feet but almost fall over again, my body swaying from side to side as my eyesight blurs, black spots covering my vision. I shake my head slowly and my eyesight returns. I place one shaking foot in front of the other and stagger towards the door, my artifical leg feeling heavy and achy, falling against the wood, sending a pain through my arm due to the impact. I'm just tall enough to see though the gaps in the bars. I blink as my eyes adjust to the light and I can see a flamed torch on the stone wall adjacent to the door. I swallow heavily. I'm definitely not in the arena. Still leaning against the wall, I reach for the door handle, only to find that there isn't one. Instead, I feel the cold metal attached to the frame of the door. I swallow again. Am I in a prison? How long have I been here?

"Hello?" I call into the deserted hallway. My voice is a low rasp and my throat feels painful once more.

There is no answer. I didn't expect one, but it was worth a try. I need to know where I am, what's going on and where Katniss is. I try again, raising my voice. It still comes out as a rasp and it makes my throat throb even more. My call isn't answered. I turn and lean against the door, closing my eyes.

"Peeta…?"

I'm suddenly alert, my eyes shooting open and I turn to look back out of the small window. I recognise that voice. I've heard it before. "Hello? Who's there?" My voice is still a heavy rasp and comes out so quickly that I'm sure that they didn't hear or understand me, so I'm surprised when I hear the answer coming from diagonally across from me. I strain my eyes and see another door which looks identical to mine.

"It's me, Johanna."

I gasp a hitched breath and my heart pounds. My hands clutch onto the cold bars to keep me steady. Johanna? What is she doing here? "J-Johanna?!" I croak. "Wh-where are we? What's going on? Where's Katniss?" My questions come out think and fast. The questions I so desperately need answers to.

Despite our predicament, I think I hear a faint snorting sound coming from the same direction of her voice before she replies. "Always thinking about her," I hear her mutter mockingly but she speaks the truth. I am always thinking about Katniss. I can't help it. It's the way I'm wired. There's a pause, as if she's waiting for me to respond, but I don't, there's no point in me contradicting her words. "I'm not too sure," she continues. "But I don't think its District 13." It sounds as if she's saying the last bit to herself, but it doesn't make any sense. District 13? That place doesn't exist. It got destroyed during the first rebellion. They always show footage of the ruined ground. I'm about to tell her this when she utters the words that make my blood freeze and my body go numb.

"I think we're in the Capitol."

The Capitol?! That can't be possible. It can't.

But I know she's telling the truth, I heard the fear in her voice. Johanna isn't someone who get scared easy and the realisation unnerves me more. My body begins to shudder, my hands trembling and I slump against the door. We are in the Capitol.

My thoughts fly to Katniss again. If she's here… Snow's got an agenda against her, I remind myself. If she's here, who knows what'll happen to her, what Snow will do?

I find my voice again and call over to Johanna. "Is Katniss here?" I need to know. I need to be able to protect her.

"I don't know," Johanna replies. I think I hear her voice tremble momentarily behind the mocking tone that can be heard with my mentioning of Katniss again.

I nod though I know she can't see me. If she's not here, then where is she? "W-what happened?" I stammer, my voice shaking. "How long have we been here?"

Johanna lets out a snort-like sound. "Your precious Katniss blew out the forcefield," she informs me and I let out a gasp of surprise. She then sighs. "I don't remember much else apart from a blinding light and then being on the Capitol's hovercraft. I've been awake for a while, but I don't know how long we've been here for though."

My heart thunders in my chest? Katniss blew out the forcefield?! Why? I don't ask that question; instead I ask the more important question. "Did they get anyone else?" I ask, wondering who else knew of this rebellious plan. Katniss? Haymitch? Effie?

"Other than us? I think I saw Enobaria before I fell unconscious."

So Katniss might not be here? I feel like a small weight has been lifted and I let out a sigh of relief. I'd rather be in the Capitol instead of her, knowing that she's in a better place, though I hope that the alternative is better than this.

Johanna must have heard my breath because she then says, "I wouldn't be so relived about being here."

"What do you mean?" My body shakes again, both from the cold and from fear. She's using the same tone she used when she said we were in the Capitol. Johanna's not scared of much, but I can tell she is definitely scared of being here and if she is, then so should I.

"We're in the Capitol, Peeta," she reminds me. "Snow knows about the rebellion. He's going to want information."

Information? But I don't know anything about the rebellion. I tell her this and when she doesn't respond, I know. Her silence speaks a thousand words. She was in on it. She knew about the rebellion. What else did she know? I want to ask, but can't. I'm positive that the dungeons are littered with cameras and microphones, ready for us to slip up and say something we shouldn't. I'm pretty sure both of us have said more than what we should have.

"Figured it out," Johanna says when I don't respond, correctly reading my silence.

I want to know more. How much she knows. Who else was in on it? Haymitch? It wouldn't surprise me. Effie? No, there's no way. Katniss? Did she? Is that why she blew out the force field? No, I remind myself. She couldn't have known. She would have told me.

I stay silent. We both do and eventually I sink to the floor, my head in my hands shaking from both the cold and from fear. My mind is consumed with questions. Questions I can't answer.

I hear loud footsteps pounding against the stone outside of my door and my eyes open. Fear beings to course through me once more. Are they here for me or for Johanna? My question is soon answered when I hear a voice boom outside my door.

"Oi, Mellark! Get up!"

I scramble away from the door as I hear it being unlocked. The door is then forcefully pushed open; making it hit the wall with a resounding bang. Light streams into the cell, momentarily blinding me. I'm sat against the opposite wall, my hands covering my eyes as my body continues to shake like a lonely leaf. I hear footsteps march loudly over to me before I'm grabbed vehemently by an arm and yanked onto my feet.

"Get up!" The voice snarls as he pulls me up.

I stagger as another hand grabs my other arm, dragging me across my cell and into the hallway. I blink, my eyes adjusting the bright lights.

"Let him go!" I hear Johanna shout and she pounds on her own door.

"Shut up!"

I turn and see one of the Peacekeepers that had dragged me from my cell hit her cell door with his free fist.

"Leave her alone!" I shout, pushing myself against him.

The Peacekeeper laughs and pushes me to the floor as the other one closes my cell door. My hands scrap across the cold hard stones, peeling back skin and I wince from the impact.

"Peeta?!"

The Peacekeeper hits her door again before he pulls me up by my arm again. The other one joins him in placing an iron grip on my arm. They march me down the hall, ignoring Johanna's shouts and my staggering as my good leg is still stiff and weak.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

Both of the Peacekeepers laugh and continue to drag me.

"You're going to see President Snow."

The blood disappears from my face and run cold and I feel sick to my stomach. My body trembles and I know they can feel it through their thick black leather gloves because they laugh again, knowing that I'm fearful.

President Snow? What could he want with me? I don't know anything about the rebellion, about what happened in the arena, why Katniss apparently shot the force field.

I'm led from the cold hallway of the dungeons into a brightly lit corridor adorned with red and gold walls. The carpet beneath my feet is also red, the walls covered with various gold framed pictures, some of scenery, others with people I don't recognise and I realise that the dungeons must be below Snow's mansion. We don't come across another person before I'm shoved into an elevator, the two Peacekeepers still at my side. One of them presses a button, hiding it from my view, though I don't know why. What did they expect me to do, break free and try to escape? I would. I would at least try but since I have no clear idea where I am, any attempt of escape is pointless and then I remember Johanna. She helped us in the arena. I can't leave her here.

We arrive at a large wooden oak door. I see the name Cornelius Snow etched in gold flowing lettering and I swallow, my nerves rising and my body shakes uncontrollably. My heart beat quickens and my breathing becomes quick and laboured, as if I'm about to start hyperventilating. I need to strong; to not show any fear, but the thought of what lies behind that door chills me to the bone. I will my body to stay come, but it is futile, I can't stop myself from thinking about Snow, sitting behind those doors, waiting for me.

One of the Peacekeepers knocks on the door before reaching for the gold handle and opening the door. I'm quickly pushed inside, tripping on the mahogany-coloured carpet beneath my feet. The door is quickly closed and I take a panicked breath, lifting my head to see him. My eyes widened. He's sat at a large oak desk, his hands interlinked, resting his chin on them. I swallow. He has a smile on his face. It's a sympathetic smile, one that I know is fake. He stands up and I take a step backwards. His smile becomes even more sympathetic and I frown. As he approaches, I see the usual white rose in his breast pocket and it isn't until now that I realise the Katniss is right, he does smell of roses and blood. In fact, this entire room smells of roses and blood. The thought almost makes me gag, bile rising in my throat and I shake my head, pushing the thought away.

"Hello, Peeta." He speaks in a casual tone, as if we were long time friends though we are anything but. "I hope life in the Capitol is treating you well." His voice is silky and smooth, like the clothes he's wearing.

I don't respond. I've never been alone in his presence before and now that I am, being alone with him unnerves me more then I would like. I hear him tut at my silence.

"It isn't polite to ignore a greeting," he says to me, the silkiness gone. "And I thought you were the one with words," he adds as an afterthought.

I don't respond, but I can't stop the scowl from forming on my face. I have nothing to say to the man that takes pleasure in letting innocent people, children, suffer and die. He is now standing directly before me, but I refuse to lift my head. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see that he is a wearing a look of infuriation, though I don't know why. What was he expecting? That I would greet him with open arms?

"I thought dear Miss Everdeen was the discourteous one," he continues and my scowl deepens at the mention of Katniss's name. I see him smile. He must have seen my expression and knows – though I'm sure he already knows – that he's struck a nerve with the mentioning of her. "You've disappointed me, Peeta," he says, reverting back to the casual, friendly tone that doesn't match his words. "I expected more from you. More of a show. Instead, despite my warnings to your beloved _wife_, you both continue to make a mockery of me." By the way he says 'wife' I know that he knows that it is a lie, that me and Katniss never married, that she wasn't pregnant.

My head snaps up. "I don't know what you mean." I have to keep up the pretence that me and Katniss are married. I know he doesn't believe it, but I have to try.

His smile fades and he leans in close to my face. "I know all about your wife and her _cousin_. If you're so in love, why would she go with him?"

I swallow. Katniss and Gale?

He lets out a laugh, seeing the confusion on my face. "Oh, you didn't know? My poor, sweet, naïve Peeta, you're in for one hell of a shock."

Was that why she was always indifferent to me ever since our return from the first games? Everyone knew that they were best friends, some even thought they were actually together. But then the Hunger Games happened, my secret was revealed and it all changed. He became her 'cousin' and she became my reluctant love and when it was all over, she returned to her usual ways, leaving me to pick up the pieces, to try and move on. And then there had been Gale's whipping. She had kissed him and my dreams shattered. But then the Quell happened and I vowed to protect her once more, but she acted differently then too. That kiss on the beach. That wasn't a normal kiss like the ones we had shared in the cave. No, there was more to it. She had more into it then I could have possibly imagined and it had left me longing for more.

I pull myself away from those thoughts, knowing that Snow is still watching, waiting for my reaction. My eyes meet his gaze, unflinching. I vowed to protect her. Even if she doesn't love me, that wouldn't change and I'm not going to stop now. "They're not together," I tell him, my voice surprisingly steady.

Snow smiles, the corners of his lips curling up. "But it was all a lie?" he asks, though I know that he already knows the truth.

"Not all of it," I reply. "I do love her."

"But everything else?"

I shrug my shoulders. "That's down to Katniss," I say. "But everything was because of me. I said those things, those lies."

Snow laughs. "To protect her. You're so gallant and chivalrous Peeta, aren't you? Even when you're trapped here, thousands of miles away from her, you're still protecting her. You'd do anything for her and yet once again she has left you and you're all alone to pick up the pieces, again. You don't even know what she's done, how much she has betrayed you. Will you still being willing to protect her now?"

My eyebrows furrow in confusion. What had she done? I can tell from the way that he's looking at me that something has happened. Something more than just the destruction of the arena. Something huge and life changing.

Snow lets out another laugh, this time it's full of malice and it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I resist the urge to tremble. "She's left you here Peeta. She left you while she ran off with the rebels." He pauses, letting those words sink in.

She wouldn't have left me. Not voluntarily. Something happened in that arena. Something I missed. But I know she wouldn't have willingly left me. No, the rebels took her. She didn't have a choice.

"Come over here my dear boy," Snow says calmly, breaking me away from my thoughts. He walks over to his desk, beckoning me to follow, but my feet remain rooted to the ground. He stands at his desk and sees that I haven't moved. "It wasn't a request."

I swallow. Fear etches through me. I don't want to know. Whatever it is, whatever has happened, I don't want to know.

A clear screen is lowered behind Snow as he taps into his computer. I slowly move my feet, trembling like a leaf in the cold wind now. My artificial leg moves easily compared to my real which feels unbelievably heavy and is reluctant to move. I force myself forward.

"Good boy," he says once I've reached the desk, not looking at me. I watch him, but don't expect him to move when he suddenly does, grabbing hold of my hand and slamming it onto his desk, catching my wrist on the edge.

Pain courses through my hand and arm. I have had worse pain then this, but the unexpectancy of it and the fact that I can feel his nails push into my skin cause me to wince and let out a sudden gasp.

"I thought you would have understood Mr Mellark," he snarls at me. "You do exactly what I tell you."

I nod, but can't stop eyes from narrowing in hatred at him. He notes my look and laughs before pulling me closer by my wrist. The smell of blood and roses becomes stronger and the bile surges in my throat once more.

"You have no idea what I'm capable of," he hisses in my ear, I can almost hear the venom in his voice. "You don't do what I say then the people you care about, well, let's just say they'll be taking a little trip. One they can't return from."

My eyes widen. My family. Katniss. Portia. My prep team. The faces of countless others, Delly, Effie, even Haymitch, soar though my mind. I had forgotten that I care about so many people and he's just threatened the lives of every single one of them. I swallow and he smile widens, stretching across his face. He knows he has me, that I will do anything to keep them safe. "What is it you want me to do?" My voice barely comes out as a whisper.

Snow's lips become thin as his smile widens even more, letting go of my wrist. The throbbing is almost unbearable, but I refuse to show any emotion. "Oh there will be time for that later." He indicates towards the board behind me and I turn around. "That isn't the reason I brought you here," he says sadly and I'm surprised at his tone, but then I remind myself that it's false. Snow is incapable of showing any sort of emotion towards another human being.

I watch the screen and the image of a ruined, destroyed town is shown. All of the buildings have been reduced to rubble and bodies litter the ground, covered by what looks like a thick layer of ash. In the distance, I can see that some of the buildings are still smoking. The image reminds me of the picture of District 13 that they always show and like that picture, this one causes me to shiver. My eyebrows furrow in confusion again. Why is he showing me a picture of District 13? I say this to him and am surprised when he looks sadly at me.

"Oh, my dear boy, you don't understand."

I look from the picture to him and back again. There's something more to the picture, something he's not telling me. I take a step closer to the picture and look intently at the collapsed building in the foreground. Despite it being covered in ash, it looks familiar and it takes me a moment before it registers. My mouth opens and a gasp of horror escapes from it. I shake my head and take a step back. It can't be possible. It can't!

"I'm so sorry Peeta," I hear Snow say, but his voice is distant and I feel miles away from where I really am.

A flash of memory courses though my mind. I'm with my brothers and my father. I'm seven years old and we're playing a game, tossing a ball between each other, but not to our father. Me and my brothers are laughing as the ball sails over my father's head again. He laughs too. I can hear pigs behind us and in front of me is our home, the bakery.

"No!" I cry, my hands suddenly clutching my head. My entire body is trembling violently. It can't be real. It can't! My eyes sting as salty water fills them and my breath comes out quickly and haggardly. It isn't possible. This isn't happening!

I pull my hands from my face and look at the picture again for confirmation. Silent tears are streaming down my face and my body continues to tremble. The destroyed building in the picture is the bakery. My home.

"I'm so sorry, Peeta," Snow says the pity still in his voice.

I can't tear my eyes away from the picture. I don't understand. How could this have happened? My mouth opens and closes. Words fill me but I am unable to say them.

"This was the work of the rebels," Snow tells me.

What? The rebels did this? Why would they do that?

"District 12 is gone," he continues.

The entire district?! Everything is gone? My mouth forms words again and this time some of them venture out. "…family… home…"

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him shake his head sadly. "They're gone, Peeta."

"E-everyone?"

"A few made it. They were lead by your wife's cousin, Mr Hawthorne. I believe his family along with your wife's made it safely." He pauses, letting those words sink in. "My sources have informed me that no attempts were made to save your family."

My body is still shaking uncontrollably. But I feel more in control, the shock slowly abating. His sources? Gale was in on it?

"The rebels bombed your home, Peeta," he says to me. "They tried to make it look like we did it, but they wanted to make you suffer, to make sure Miss Everdeen becomes their icon, that's why they made sure her family made it out. I may be a violent man, Peeta, but I would never condone the bombing of a helpless district."

I nod dumbly. The words still not sinking in. My entire family is gone. My parents. My brothers. I'm never going to see them again. My eyes dart from side to side, trying to understand that realisation. I'm never going to see my family again. They're dead. I have no one left. They're all gone.

My entire body shudders and I collapse to the floor. The tears flow seamlessly. It doesn't feel real, but it is and I know it is when I look up and see that the image has been replaced with footage of my home. I watch from my position on the floor, as the camera moves through the rubble and I see the bodies of people I recognise. People I know. No, I remind myself, knew. They're dead now. I watch as the camera approaches the bakery, my home and I can't stop the cry that leaves my mouth. I see my family. My parents and my brothers. Their bodies are blackened and burnt, their mouths open in unending screams and their faces contorted with fear, but it's them.

I feel my blood drain away. My lungs constrict and I struggle to breathe. My body screams for air but refuses to let any enter. I clench my hands into fists as my skin becomes cold and clammy. No. No, no, no, no, no, no!

"No!" The scream is out of my mouth before I can stop myself and Snow turns off the footage. I bury my head between my knees, my hands covering my head as I cry. I can't look at the footage any more. My heart aches painfully, unbearably.

"I'm sorry, Peeta," he says and I hear his footsteps as he approaches me, "but I thought you should know."

I don't respond. I can't. I can barely breathe let alone communicate.

I feel him place a hand on my shoulder and I resist the urge to flinch from his touch. We stay silent for some time. I'm not sure how long as the only thing that I'm aware of is the fact that my family are dead, my district destroyed. I know it's because me. Because of me and Katniss. Because of what we did. I need to fix it. No one else can suffer the same way I have. No one deserves it. I hate Snow and the Capitol for what they have done, but I have to fix this. I lift my head and see that Snow has been watching me, a torn look of curiosity and sympathy consume his face. "What is it you want of me?"

Snow's face instantly changes to one of happiness and I know that he has me. I have nothing to lose but people to save. "Call for a ceasefire," he tells me. "You hate this division between the Capitol and the rebels as much as I do. Call for a ceasefire before this gets any worse, before more lives are lost."

"Why should I trust you?" I agree with him in calling a ceasefire. I don't want there to be any more fighting. Too many people have already died and I don't want there to be anymore, but something is holding me back from agreeing. He's already threatened the people I care about, though the most important people to me are already gone. If he wants my help then I want something in return. I have people I still have to protect.

Snow's smile falters. "Do you really think you're in position of bargaining?" I hold his gaze even though my eyes are still watery and eventually he relents. "What do you want?"

"Keep them safe," I say. His eyebrows furrow in puzzlement. "Johanna, Portia and my prep team and Katniss," I alliterate. "No harm is to come to them."

"Johanna Mason has information on the rebels, information that we need. As for Miss Everdeen…"

I shake my head as determination fills me, replacing the sadness. If he wants my help then he'll meet my terms. "It's not negotiable," I say, my voice controlled and steady. "I don't care what happens to me, but them. They need to be kept from harm. I can't lose anyone else," I mutter the last bit under my breath, but I know that Snow heard it.

He lets out a sigh. "Fine," he says and I'm surprised that he relented so easily. "They won't be harmed."

I nod. I know I shouldn't agree, but I don't have a choice. Regardless of what I had hoped, I am still a piece in his games. "I'll do it."

Snow's smile widens and I swallow, my body finally trembling beneath his touch, knowing that I have just signed a deal with the devil.

One I won't be able to escape from.

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**This is definately the longest one-shot I have ever written! I can't believe how long it actually is.**

**Hope you all enjoyed it and I hope the tenses were right - I'm not a fan of writing in first person.**

**This was inspired by Salanderjade's _Alone is a Five Letter Word for Pain_, which is truly amazing. I always wanted to see more about Peeta's time in the Capitol, especially his discovery of the destruction of Disctrict 12 and the deaths of his family, so her story, along with that idea is what spawned this.**

**Please review.**


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